Introduction

Welcome to CANADA GOOSE SIMULATOR for Emulator.ca Systems.

You are a Canada Goose. Honk.

In the great tradition of nature documentaries, you might expect this to be a serene exploration of wetland ecosystems and migratory patterns. It is not. This is a game about the other side of geese—the side that hisses at picnickers, steals sandwiches from children, and establishes dominance over parking lots through sheer force of personality.

The Canada Goose (Branta canadensis) is nature's most chaotic waterfowl. While other birds politely forage and flee from humans, the Canada Goose has evolved an alternative strategy: aggressive indifference to personal space, relentless pursuit of bread products, and an unwavering conviction that every patch of grass belongs to them personally.

CANADA GOOSE SIMULATOR places you in webbed feet of one such goose. Your territory spans six zones—from the tranquil waters of The Lake to the target-rich environment of The Market. You have 20 days to achieve one of five victory conditions before instinct compels you to migrate southward.

Will you build the perfect nest, lined with stolen treasures? Will you become a legendary agent of chaos, feared by joggers and picnickers alike? Will you raise a dynasty of goslings, teaching them the ancient art of aggressive honking? The choice is yours. Peace was never an option.

Quick Start

Ready to begin? Here is everything you need to terrorise the neighbourhood:

1. Dial the Goose line: ATDT555-4667
2. Press Enter at the title screen to begin
3. Select your goal: Choose one of five victory conditions
4. Look around: Type LOOK or L to see your surroundings
5. Move around: Type N, S, E, W or WADDLE [direction]
6. Honk at things: Type HONK or H to assert dominance
7. Take items: Type TAKE [item] or STEAL [item]
8. Check progress: Type GOAL to see your objective
9. Travel zones: Type GO [zone] or TRAVEL [zone]

Your goal appears when you start. Explore the six zones, collect items, annoy NPCs, and achieve victory before day 20.

Getting Started

Upon connecting to 555-4667, you will be presented with the title screen:

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   ║   CANADA GOOSE SIMULATOR                  ║
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   ║   A game about being                      ║
   ║   mildly inconvenient                     ║
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   "Peace was never an option."

   You are a Canada Goose.
   Your mission: cause problems on purpose.

   Press Enter to begin...

Press Enter (or type anything) to proceed to goal selection.

Selecting Your Goal

After pressing Enter, you will be asked to choose one of five victory conditions. Each goal offers a different play style:

Select a goal by entering its number. Once selected, you cannot change your goal during the game.

Goals and Victory

CANADA GOOSE SIMULATOR offers five distinct paths to victory. Each requires a different strategy and play style.

The Nested Life

"Build the perfect nest by collecting specific materials."

This goal requires you to gather nest materials and at least one shiny object, then deposit them at your nest at The Lake.

Requirements:

Strategy: Travel between zones to find materials. Nest materials spawn throughout the world—twigs and grass in the park, feathers from ducks and other geese, newspaper and fabric in urban zones. Shiny items (bottle caps, coins, keys) are rarer but highly prized.

Use NEST ADD [item] when at your nest to deposit materials. Check progress with GOAL.

Agent of Chaos

"Become legendary by annoying 50 unique NPCs."

This is the quintessential goose experience. Your objective is simple: honk at, flap at, and generally terrorise 50 different NPCs across all zones.

Mechanics:

• Each unique NPC can only be counted once
• NPCs are tracked by their individual ID
• Your Notoriety stat increases as you annoy more NPCs
• Honking can annoy up to 4 NPCs within 3 tiles

Strategy: Visit all zones to find fresh victims. The Park has the most NPC variety. Children and picnickers are easy targets. Avoid dogs and the groundskeeper unless you enjoy being chased.

Dynasty Builder

"Find a mate, lay eggs, and raise 3 goslings to independence."

The most complex goal, requiring you to manage a family of geese.

Phases:

1. Find a Mate: Locate another goose at The Lake and use COURT to woo them
2. Improve Nest: Build nest quality so eggs can be laid
3. Lay Eggs: Once mated with a good nest, eggs are laid automatically
4. Incubate: Use TEND at your nest daily for 2 days to hatch eggs
5. Raise Goslings: Feed and teach your goslings until they become independent

Gosling Independence Requirements:

• Age: 5 days since hatching
• Health: HP above 20
• Education: Must have learned 3 behaviours by observing you

Strategy: Focus on building your nest first, then find a mate. Once goslings hatch, stay near them and perform varied actions so they learn. Feed them regularly with FEED [gosling] [food].

The Hoard

"Amass 30 food items in your nest."

Channel your inner dragon and collect a massive food stockpile.

Requirements:

• Deposit 30 food items into your nest
• All food types count equally

Food Items:

Strategy: The Market and Park are the best food sources. Vendors carry premium items but are harder to steal from. Use NEST ADD [food] to deposit food. Resist the temptation to eat your hoard.

Territorial Supremacy

"Claim and hold all 6 zones simultaneously."

The most challenging goal. You must assert dominance over every zone and maintain it.

Claiming Zones:

• Use FLAP aggressively to claim a zone
• High Ferocity makes claiming easier
• Some zones have guardians you must defeat

Zone Decay:

• Claims decay over 3 days without reinforcement
• You must revisit and reclaim zones before they expire
• The Lake Swan will challenge you to a Honk Battle

Strategy: Build Ferocity through aggressive actions before attempting claims. Plan a route to maintain all six zones. The Lake and Park are easiest to claim; the Market is hardest.

Player Stats

Your goose tracks several vital statistics, displayed on the status bar and viewable with the STATUS command.

Core Stats

Stat Effects

HP (Health)

• Below 30: Warning displayed
• Below 10: Critical state, movement slowed
• At 0: Game over (migration triggered)

Energy

• Depleted by most actions (typically 2 per action)
• Flying costs 4 energy
• Restore with REST (costs time but restores energy)
• Fully restored each new day

Satiation

• Decreases by 15 per day
• Below 30: You are hungry (warning displayed)
• Below 10: HP starts decreasing
• Restore by using EAT [food]

Ferocity

• Increases when you honk, flap, or steal
• High ferocity makes NPCs more likely to flee
• Required for territorial claims
• Decreases slowly over time if you are passive

Notoriety

• Tracks your reputation
• Increases when you annoy NPCs
• High notoriety makes some NPCs flee on sight
• Also attracts hostile NPCs (groundskeeper, dogs)

Stat Decay

At the start of each day:

• Satiation decreases by 15
• Energy is fully restored

Time System

The game operates on a day/time system. You have 20 days to achieve your goal.

Days and Time Units

Each action costs a number of time units:

Time of Day

The game tracks four periods:

NPC spawns and behaviours vary by time of day.

End of Days

When time units reach 0, the day ends:

• Stats decay is applied
• NPCs respawn
• Goslings age
• Territory claims decay

When day 20 ends, if you have not achieved victory, your migratory instinct takes over and the game ends.

Commands Reference

CANADA GOOSE SIMULATOR accepts natural language commands. Commands are case-insensitive.

Movement Commands

Action Commands

Information Commands

Family Commands

These commands are used with the Dynasty Builder goal:

System Commands

Zones

The game world consists of six interconnected zones, each with unique characteristics, NPCs, and resources.

The Lake

"Your home. Water, reeds, and relative safety."

The Lake is your home base. Your nest is here, and you can always swim to safety. Other waterfowl congregate here—ducks are easily intimidated, but the Swan is a formidable rival.

Tips:

• The Elder who feeds birds here is friendly and often has bread
• The Swan guards the water and will challenge you to a Honk Battle
• This is the only zone where you can mate (if another goose is present)

The Park

"Prime harassment territory. Benches, paths, and picnickers."

The Park is the richest zone for food and chaos. Picnickers carry sandwiches. Children have chips. Joggers have energy bars. However, the Groundskeeper patrols here and will chase you aggressively.

Tips:

• Picnickers are the best food source—they often drop multiple items
• Watch out for Dog Walkers; their dogs will chase you
• The Groundskeeper is your nemesis—high notoriety attracts them

The Parking Lot

"Cars, commuters, and chaos potential."

A utilitarian zone filled with busy commuters heading to their cars. They are easily startled but don't carry much food.

Tips:

• Good for quickly annoying many NPCs (Agent of Chaos goal)
• Commuters sometimes have energy bars or bread
• Few obstacles; easy to navigate

The Playground

"Children with snacks. Target-rich environment."

Children are abundant here and carry excellent snacks. However, Parents are protective and may chase you.

Tips:

• Children flee easily and drop items readily
• Some children actually enjoy being honked at!
• Parents will defend their offspring; approach with caution

Residential Street

"Lawns, gardens, and territorial dogs."

A dangerous zone patrolled by loose dogs. Rewards are limited, but some NPCs here are not found elsewhere.

Tips:

• Dogs are fast and hostile—be ready to fly away
• Good for ferocity building if you can intimidate a dog
• Squirrels are annoyingly fast and flee instantly

The Market

"Food vendors everywhere. High risk, high reward."

The Market is the best zone for food acquisition. Vendors carry hot dogs, fries, and sandwiches—premium items. However, Vendors are protective of their wares and will chase.

Tips:

• Best zone for The Hoard goal
• Hot dogs and fries are worth more than bread
• Multiple vendors means multiple chances to steal

NPCs

NPCs (Non-Player Characters) populate the zones. Each type has distinct behaviours.

Human NPCs

Animal NPCs

NPC Behaviours

Flee Chance: Probability that an NPC will drop their items and run when honked at.

Speed: Movement rate. Higher speeds mean they can catch or escape you more easily.

Hostile: Hostile NPCs will chase and attack you on sight.

Can Chase: Some NPCs (Parent, Vendor, Swan, Dog, Groundskeeper) will pursue you when provoked.

Special NPC Interactions

Children and Elders: These NPCs actually enjoy being honked at! They will react positively but still count toward the Agent of Chaos goal.

Other Geese: Honking at other geese is how geese communicate. They will honk back. In The Lake zone, courting another goose is necessary for the Dynasty Builder goal.

Ducks: Inferior waterfowl that quack in response to honks. Easy feather sources.

Swans: Do not underestimate swans. They never flee and will challenge you to a Honk Battle for territorial control.

Items

Items can be picked up, carried in your inventory, eaten, or deposited in your nest.

Food Items

Use EAT [item] to consume food and restore Satiation.

Nest Materials

Use NEST ADD [item] to deposit materials in your nest.

Shiny Items

Shiny items are rare and required for The Nested Life goal.

Miscellaneous

Inventory Management

Plan your trips between zones carefully. When your inventory is full, you cannot pick up more items.

Honk Battle

When you encounter a Swan in The Lake zone and attempt to claim territory, you will be challenged to a Honk Battle—a test of waterfowl vocal prowess.

How It Works

1. The Swan honks a pattern (e.g., H-O-N-K)
2. You must repeat the pattern exactly
3. Win 2 of 3 rounds to claim victory
4. Patterns get harder each round

Input Format

Type the pattern using the letters H, O, N, K. Separators are optional.

Outcomes

Nesting

Your nest is located at The Lake. It is your home base for depositing items and, for the Dynasty Builder goal, raising a family.

Nest Commands

Nest Quality

Nest quality is calculated from deposited materials:

For Dynasty Builder, you need at least "Good" quality before eggs can be laid.

Nest Contents

The nest stores:

• Materials: Twigs, grass, feathers, etc.
• Shiny Items: Bottle caps, coins, keys
• Food: For The Hoard goal

Raising Goslings

The Dynasty Builder goal requires raising 3 goslings to independence.

Lifecycle

Gosling Names

Goslings are automatically given names from a pool including: Fluffington, Sir Honks-a-Lot, Waddles, Peep, Chaos Jr., Little Menace, Tiny Terror, and others.

Gosling Personalities

Each gosling hatches with a random personality:

Teaching Goslings

Goslings learn by observing you. Perform actions while they follow you:

• After observing an action twice, they learn it
• They need 3 learned behaviours to become independent
• Their personality gives bonuses to related behaviours

Feeding Goslings

Use FEED [gosling name] [food] to feed specific goslings.

Gosling States

Calling Goslings

Use CALL to summon all your goslings back to your position. This is useful if they get scattered or scared.

Strategy Guide

General Tips

1. Check your stats frequently. Use STATUS to monitor HP, Energy, and Satiation.

2. Eat before you're desperate. Satiation below 30 gives warnings; below 10, you start losing HP.

3. Use FLY sparingly. It costs 4 time units and significant energy, but it's invaluable for escaping danger.

4. LOOK often. The environment changes as NPCs move and items spawn.

5. Know your NPCs. Learn which ones flee, which ones chase, and which ones carry the best loot.

Goal-Specific Strategies

The Nested Life

• Visit every zone to find all material types
• Feathers come from ducks and other geese
• Fabric and newspaper spawn in urban zones
• Shiny items are rare—check everywhere
• Don't eat materials by accident!

Agent of Chaos

• The Park has the most NPC variety
• Move between zones to find fresh victims
• Honking in crowds hits up to 4 NPCs at once
• Some NPCs enjoy being honked at—they still count!
• High notoriety attracts the Groundskeeper

Dynasty Builder

• Build your nest quality first
• Court the other goose at The Lake
• Stay at the nest to incubate eggs (TEND daily)
• After hatching, do varied actions for goslings to learn
• Feed goslings daily—hungry goslings lose HP

The Hoard

• The Market has the best food
• Vendors carry premium items (hot dogs, fries)
• Make regular deposit trips—inventory is only 8 slots
• Resist eating from your hoard!
• Children at the Playground are easy targets

Territorial Supremacy

• Build Ferocity before claiming territories
• Claims decay after 3 days
• Plan a circuit to maintain all zones
• The Lake Swan requires a Honk Battle
• Start with easier zones (Lake, Park) first

Map Display

Use MAP or M to view the zone map. The map shows:

Zone Connections

                    [RESIDENTIAL]
                         |
    [PARKING LOT]---[PARK]---[PLAYGROUND]
                         |
                      [LAKE]
                         |
                     [MARKET]

Travel between connected zones using GO [zone] or TRAVEL [zone].

Troubleshooting

Common Issues

"You cannot waddle that way." You've reached the edge of the zone. Use GO [zone] to travel to an adjacent zone.

"Something blocks your path." A wall, tree, or other obstacle is in your way. Move around it.

"Inventory full." You're carrying 8 items. Drop something or deposit items in your nest.

"You're too tired." Energy is low. Use REST to recover (costs 5 time units).

"Your honk echoes... no one seems to notice." No NPCs are within honking range (3 tiles). Move closer.

If You Die

When HP reaches 0, your goose doesn't actually die—instead, instinct takes over and you fly away to a new town. The game ends, but you can start a new game.

Connection Issues

If you are disconnected unexpectedly, your game session is lost. Each connection starts a fresh game—plan your sessions accordingly.

Appendix: Quick Reference Card

Essential Commands

Zones

Lake → Park → Parking Lot / Playground / Residential Park → Market

Food Values

Bread: 10 | Chips: 15 | Fries: 20 | Sandwich: 25 | Hot Dog: 30

Time Costs

Free: Look, Status, Map, Inventory 1 unit: Waddle, Honk, Swim, Call 2 units: Peck, Flap, Eat, Travel, Tend 3 units: Nest, Court 4 units: Fly 5 units: Rest

Glossary

Credits

CANADA GOOSE SIMULATOR was developed for Emulator.ca Systems.

Inspired by the noble Canada Goose, nature's most chaotic waterfowl.

No actual geese were harmed in the making of this game. Several sandwiches were stolen.

HONK.